The Unreachable Series
The Unreachable Series
Architects, Engineers, Scientists of the hoax: every day, Americans and Italian-Americans walk the extra mile every day to improve and experiment with new techniques. But in the end, everything goes down to...
1.699,00€
The Unreachable Series
The quintessential spirit of the American tradition, 50% ConMan, 50% Artist. If you’ve never heard of his masterpieces before, go and check his Wikipedia page!
When you’re assigned one of these models, it...
1.699,00€
Out of stock
The Unreachable Series
As Dark as a Black Hole, as magical as a moonless night. One minute you're angry as someone who stepped on a Lego brick, and a minute later you’re quiet and peaceful as a panda cub. This is you. Well,...
349,00€
Out of stock
The Unreachable Series
LUNATIC, that’s what you are… Only two things may cool you down: a motorbike ride at sunset, or a peaceful morning spent fishing. Better alone, in both cases. Life next to you is a daily slalom between slaps and caresses....
349,00€
The Unreachable Series
Gorgeous, magnetic, elusive. The most desired by the FBI and CIA, but not for their wrists. Dial in pure lavic stone, glass from Merlin’s Crystal Ball. When you’re wearing it, there’s always a black SUV in front of your driveway....
Out of stock
The Unreachable Series
Black, Bold, Cheeky, Stilish. The racing brother to the “Bailout”, sporting the same Swiss movement, Chapter11 - Escape is the quicksilver who made it to the Mexican border, before things turned too...
1.599,00€
Out of stock
The Unreachable Series
For the real influencers, for the wannabes, for the influenced. AKA “the 7”, it’s hand-made by groundhogs on the Swiss Alps. Big, bold, very sophisticated, classy and of great taste. In fact, it...
1.699,00€
The “Knights of our times” series
Fumagazzi Watches
It's designed to help you check the time when you're late, but it's also useful to scare those who want you to feel guilty about that. When your boss shows up with just another project with an impossible deadline, show...
219,00€
Out of stock
Fumagazzi Watches
Master the art of procrastination, spend your precious time watching at your watch.
Catch every second, sharpen your sight, trying to spot even the most minuscule movement of the hours' arm.
Fumagazzi Procrastinator will convince you that "Watching the time is not...
219,00€
Out of stock
Fumagazzi Watches
Did you ever notice that every watch is, basically, a countdown?
It shows you how much time is running through your fingers before you eventually die.
Creepy, isn't it?
Come on, we're joking! Enjoy life at its best, as if what we said...
219,00€
The Voyager Series
The Voyager Series
The younger brother of the Fat Finger, he is just the opposite. A firm believer of minimalism, trying to fill in the tank of a 767 liner jet with a 50US$ bill, believes he can fix the state’s economy by...
269,00€
The Voyager Series
You see it, you smell it, you want it. it’s Automatic! (The watch, we mean).
This masterpiece displays your favourite hour (4:20) up to 2 times a day, or even 4 if you’re properly baked.
It has been given 3 names because...
299,00€
The Voyager Series
We sketched an Atlas of the World on the dial and… it’s FLAT!! Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Went fishing in Antarctica, and the compass points North under your feet? AHAAA!!! Coincidences, again?...
269,00€
The Voyager Series
You can climb every mountain, swim in every sea, cross every desert. From wherever you’ll be watching, all black holes will look banally alike. So don’t waste your time, go learn to plug it the right way!...
269,00€
The Shameless Series
The Shameless Series
Tell your beloved one that you’d rather sleep, at night... She will find out that you do your best when the sun is up!...
299,00€
The Shameless Series
If your favourite cartoon is South Park, and your favourite sport is Rage Yoga; If you spell curse words out loud exhaling weed, Al Pacino’s monologue in “The Devil’s Advocate” is your favourite, and you love Woody Allen’s punchline “If...
299,00€
The Shameless Series
The original name of this model (LGBTQ+xyz) indicates that it’s a time machine: a device much ahead of its time when it comes to civil rights. Having covered virtually all the finite possibilities of mixing mankind’s genders with "+xyz", in...
299,00€
The Shameless Series
The smuggler drives armoured vans with bull-bars, and crosses rivers at night on a triple-300HP powerboat. He trades talc powder from South America or fish eggs from the Baikal for home-made American Bourbon and Brexit-prohibited stuff.
The Contrebandier is like the...
299,00€
The Shameless Series
OK, ok. I am your father. Are you happy now? Get lost and let me vaporise some planets....
299,00€
The Shameless Series
No, I am NOT your father. I am just a watch, can’t you see it? Keep your hand attached to your wrist and leave me alone!...
299,00€
Out of stock
The Shameless Series
After having insulted people on Facebook, hated folks on Twitter, bullied teenagers on TikTok, shattered bots on “Call of Duty”, vandalized stuff on GTA, there’s no excuse: you let all the steam off. Now it’s time to get out and...
259,00€
The Shameless Series
So you bought a fake Daytona? You stupid, it’s a genuine, opulent Fumagazzi!...
449,00€
Out of stock
The Shameless Series
After having insulted people on FaceBook, hated folks on Twitter, bullyed teenagers on TikTok, shattered bots on “Call of Duty”, vandalized stuff on GTA, there’s no excuse: you let all the steam off. Now it’s time to get out and...
259,00€
The Cayman Series
The Cayman series
The Dark Side of a classic: down to the bottom, and digging. This model shows you the way to a toilet when you need "to go" and the dive has just begun. There are so many thrones left behind, down...
269,00€
Out of stock
The Cayman series
Fuel for Skiers, the Italian Bombardino is “a creamy egg liqueur stirred into your brandy of choice topped with whipped cream and cinnamon”. Anyone fancy a glass?...
269,00€
The Cayman series
He can extinguish everything, except your debts. He is the master of fire and heat, never afraid to handle them. When the girls are on fire, his massive hose may not be enough to cool them down!...
269,00€
Out of stock
The Cayman series
The best handyman for every need. You call him for a broken tap, and he syphons fixes your wife's plumbing too!...
269,00€
Out of stock
The Cayman series
This Italian cayman escaped from the Everglades along with Captain Hook. Caimano is going to challenge another famous French crocodile, fighting for the top seat at the world’s most famous tennis and golf tournaments....
299,00€
Out of stock
The Cayman series
This Italian cayman escaped from the Everglades along with Captain Hook. Caimano is going to challenge another famous French crocodile, fighting for the top seat at the world’s most famous tennis and golf tournaments. ...
299,00€
Fumagazzi Watches
Chill out in the bathtub with a Cayman!!!
This is a truly unique masterpiece, forged right under the Mariana Trench. With a Booze Diver on your wrist there's no need for lead belts: you’ll hit rock bottom just by wearing it....
249,00€
The Cayman series
The Contrebandier’s older brother: Harmful, Lethal, Automatic! It’s made to withstand the pressure of a fugitive’s life: high speeds on the road, full steam on the sea. It’s the best gift for a ruanway groom!...
269,00€
The Cayman series
You've SERIOUSLY never had one? And you've ACTUALLY never been to Italy? Oh my goodness… Go home, do your homework and come back when you’re ready. Next!
...
269,00€
The Cayman series
This model is not a fit for everyone. It’s made just for YOU. Yes, YOU. It commands respect, emanates charm, and helps you rule over your neighbourhood’s plebs.
...
299,00€
The Cayman series
See them bowing at your passage, and singing your praises out loud: “Long life to the Ruler!!!”. Blue blood like yours, out of a royal lineage. Blue skin like that of your opponents, after the polonium-scented tea break you offered...
279,00€
“Things To Be Scared Of” Series
Out of stock
“Things To Be Scared Of” Series
If you have seen him, you’d better keep your mouth shut. Sooner or later, he will find you. And that won't be a good day for you…...
229,00€
Out of stock
“Things To Be Scared Of” Series
Shareholders told us they want to see BIG FIGURES, or we’ll be fired... So we put the biggest we’ve found, right on the dial. We’re not 100% sure they’ll be happy, though....
199,00€
“Things To Be Scared Of” Series
He lies under your bed, hides in your closet. He stares at you while you’re sleeping… You only notice him when he steps on a Lego in the middle of the night!...
229,00€
Out of stock
“Things To Be Scared Of” Series
Respect this timepiece that, regardless of its Navy Seals’ look and heavy duty materials, may be getting a bit old, puffy and out of shape. Does this remind you of some action movies’ hero ? You’re right. He can still...
229,00€
The SpeedGunned “Velox” series
Out of stock
The SpeedGunned “Velox” Series
Always on your bedside table, it keeps vampires away. Don’t be tempted to use it to inspect the cleanliness of your hotel room… it works too well....
249,00€
The SpeedGunned “Velox” Series
Truckdriver Vs Sexworker? Hey, they're both in a business, not in a fight! There are just so many dirty jobs on the road and someone has to get them done!...
249,00€
The SpeedGunned “Velox” Series
Not gold, but whatever… all that glitters is gold. In facts, this is much, much more: it’s Fumagazzi’s shiny, quintessential Opulence!!!...
299,00€
The SpeedGunned “Velox” Series
Ice and blue, like the faces of people onboard when you reach ludicrous speed....
199,00€
The SpeedGunned “Velox” Series
[If you wanna take my license, you gotta catch me first!]
For those who live & drive in the fast lane and floor it at the yellow light. For those who get their car seized due to an inch-thick pile of...
199,00€
The Experts in Love Series
The Experts in Love Series
It's in your blood. Every girl you see blows your mind, and sets your tool on fire.
Come on! You’d better learn a bit of self-control!...
299,00€
Out of stock
The Experts in Love Series
You’re so hot that your genes are studied by the most important universities, especially in the campus dorms. Your Honoris Causa gynecology post-doctorate is well deserved. Remember that, for the DNA test, one hair is enough… don’t exaggerate spreading your...
299,00€
The Experts in Love Series
This is the watch you deserve, for your courageous, continued dedication to the oldest, hardest mission on earth: Making a woman happy, and getting rich along the way!...
309,00€
Out of stock
The Experts in Love Series
You know, it’s a dirty job, and someone has to do it. But you’re the top of your class, a real Senior ToiBoi, and this is your gear!!! Time exactly how long it takes for Mummy to fall asleep, so...
299,00€
The Honesty Series
The Honesty Series
For those who love keeping their hands either in theirs or into someone else’s pockets.
A model with a distinctive style, really chic. A real must-have, looks better with handcuffs....
199,00€
Out of stock
The Honesty Series
Some people like to gamble and lose: it’s their problem, not your fault. Some people have their God's given talents: it’s a blessing you can’t waste. So if you’re able to play a 3-cards game with 2 cards only, it...
239,00€
The Honesty Series
Some people master the arts of prestidigitation (no, it’s not about putting fingers where you shouldn’t). Others have the power to be in 2 places at once. But even if you have the gift of ubiquity, you may need this...
239,00€
Out of stock
The Honesty Series
The ultimate pick-up tool exudes tons of sex-appeal, it's irresistible. For Left-hand drivers only: it’s designed to whisk away the cute McDrive cashier just by winking!...
199,00€
The PussyLova Series
PussyLova series
"CreamyPussy" - Named after the famous tennis champion and world-class fashion model Natalia Pussilova. This model is sold to members of her family only. So, if you received this present by a man (no matter if it’s yours or someone...
199,00€
Out of stock
PussyLova series
"BossyPussy" - Named after the famous tennis champion and world-class fashion model Natalia Pussilova. These models are sold to members of her family only. So, if you received this present by a man (no matter if it’s yours or someone...
199,00€
PussyLova series
"PiggyPussy" - Named after the famous tennis champion and world-class fashion model Natalia Pussilova. This model is sold to members of her family only. So, if you received this present by a man (no matter if it’s yours or someone...
199,00€
Out of stock
PussyLova series
"TiffanyPussy" - Named after the famous tennis champion and world-class fashion model Natalia Pussilova. This model is sold to members of her family only. So, if you received this present by a man (no matter if it’s yours or someone...
199,00€
| Water resistance rating | Suitability | Observations and remarks |
| Water Resistant 3 atm, or 30 m | Suitable for everyday use. Resistant to splashes (all types) and rain. Not afraid of golden rain, spitting (with and without phlegm), sex on the pedalboat, pissing in the wind | Not suitable for showering, bathing, swimming, snorkeling, water-related works, fishing, diving and a lot of other much sexier -ing |
| Water Resistant 5 atm, or 50 m | Suitable for everyday use, showering, bathing, shallow-water swimming, snorkeling, water-related works such as waterboarding etc. No diving, no. I said no. Because. Stop. | Not suitable for diving. The digestion indicator is not present, either. So beware of that grandma’s fried eggplant parmigiana you’ve had at 12:00 on the beach. Respect her age-old beliefs and wait 2 hours before swimming |
| Water Resistant 10 atm, or 100 m | Suitable for recreational surfing, swimming, snorkeling, sailing, judo, extortion, fisting, buffering, nordic walking, southern Italy’s food binge-ing and more -ing water sports. | Not suitable for scuba tank diving. Not suitable for army tank driving. Not suitable for slurry tank filling |
